


The light

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Angst, Awkward!Enjolras, Awkwardness, Background Les Amis de l'ABC, Cute, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Les Amis de l'ABC - Freeform, M/M, Self-Harm, Smoking, cynic!grantaire, im gonna stop tagging now, its still cute tho, suicidal, taking requests
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4979005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the prompt: "Enjolras notices Grantaire has new cuts after a meeting and tries to help. Awkward!E trying to work out how to talk about feelings and Cynic!R really wanting to be anywhere else."</p><p>---------------------------------------</p><p>"The meeting was finally over and Enjolras looked around the bar towards Grantaire. He didn't realise Combeferre was talking to him until he felt a tap on his shoulder. "His wrists." Combeferre pointed out. Enjolras nodded, noticing how the scars there looked fresher, an walked over to R."</p><p>Trigger warning: self harm/ self hatred</p>
            </blockquote>





	The light

**Author's Note:**

> This fix contains the following:
> 
> Self harm  
> Self hatred  
> Suicidal thoughts  
> Depression  
> Implied alcoholism
> 
> Please do not read if any of these things trigger you, but feel free to message me for help and advice.

The meeting was finally over and Enjolras looked around the bar towards Grantaire. He didn't realise Combeferre was talking to him until he felt a tap on his shoulder. "His wrists." Combeferre pointed out. Enjolras nodded, noticing how the scars there looked fresher, an walked over to R.

Grantaire's shoulders were slumped as he sat at the bar, pulling his sleeves down over his hands as he heard footsteps approaching. He hung his head, hands twitching where they rested on his lap. His thoughts always ran away with him, manifesting into words of self hatred that threatened to drive him mad. And the bar here refused to sell him alcohol after the last incident he had caused, so he was stuck, and looked up when Enjolras reached him, "What can I do for the mighty Apollo?" He drawled, turning where he sat to look at the tall blond.

Enjoltaire sighed. "I'm no god, Grantaire." He reminded the man. He paused a second awkwardly before sitting down next to him. "How are you... um I mean..." he stammered, turning to give Combeferre a pleading look. He sighed and looked down at the table."How are you today?" he asked.

"You don't see yourself through my eyes." He said quietly, turning away again and tapping his fingers on the bar, "How am I today?" He responded, a dry laugh leaving him, "Seeing as anyone who actually asks that question wouldn't really give a shit.." He cleared his throat, plastering a sarcastic smile over his face, "I am /great/, nothing could be greater, thank you, monsieur."

"Taire." Enjolras said sternly, but stopped himself. He was shit at talking about emotions, hell he was shit at talking about anything other than the upcoming revolution. He ran a hand through his hair and thought for a second. "Please, Grantaire... seeing you like this... it's not nice..." he said, trying to get Grantaire to open up to him.

"Oh, so you'd rather have me shitfaced over me being sober? Not that I particularly /want/ to be sober." He huffed, raking a hand through his curls and turning to glare at him, "I don't have a clue what you're talking about, okay?".

Enjolras felt anger bubble up inside him. "You know very well I dislike your drinking problem." he said, teeth gritted. Enjolras thought for a second before placing his hand on Grantaire's arm.  
"Get off!" He snapped, pulling his arm away quickly and hissing through his teeth as the fabric rubbed quickly against the slits on his arm, "Piss off, Apollo.".

"Grantaire, talk to me, please" Enjolras half begged, worried about the man. He and Grantaire may not be the closest of friends, or friends at all for that matter, but he was worried non the less. "Please..." he said, his voice quieter.

"Talk to me about what?" He growled, "I don't know what you think's wrong, but I'm fine, okay?" His voice had a warning in it, and he balled his hands into his fists, resting them on his lap, "Leave me alone, I don't know why you'd care anyway.".

Enjolras sighed, getting irritated. He wasn't good at this rubbish, this was Combeferre's job, or hell, Courf would do a better job than him. He lent a little closer to the curl haired man and whispered I'm his ear in a soft, but slightly threatening tone, "Grantaire, I am not a man who has a lot of patience, please tell me what is causing you to take a blade to your wrist, or I will get Joly." he said. He was never a very tactful person when it came to personal matters.

Grantaire tensed, before he lost it, standing up and shoving Enjolras out of the way, tears of anger welling in his eyes as he stormed out, his fingernails digging into his palms before he fumbled desperately in his pockets for a cigarette, shoving it into his mouth and lighting it with shaking hands, not feeling the flame brush against his fingertips before he shoved the lighter into his pocket again, leaning heavily against the wall.

Enjolras looked around, shocked. The whole of the bar was silent now, staring at him. It took him only a moment before he ran out of the building after Grantaire, worried for the man. Once he found him he sighed in relief and stood next to him in silence. It took him a minute to notice the new burns on his fingertips. "R..." he whispered sadly, taking his burnt hand gently, and pressing a small kiss to one of his fingers.

Grantaire winced, dropping his cigarette to the floor and making sure it went out, feeling more of a burn from feeling the bright Apollo's lips against the burn. He found that he'd never got used to Enjolras burning so bright, finding himself blinded by his hope and passion, "Leave me alone." He croaked, darkness swirling in his mind as he thought about how he wasn't worth Enjolras' time, how much of a waste of space he was, God, he needed a drink, "please."

Enjolras frowned and brought his hand down to his side, the other man's hand still resting in his palm. For the first time in a very long time, he felt the urge to cry. He hated seeing Grantaire look so broken. He had admired the cynic for years, loving their heated arguments and their disagreements over politics and war. He just didn't know how to tell the man. "Taire, please let me help you... you... you mean a lot to me, I hate seeing you hurt." he whispered sadly, stroking R's palm gently with the pad of his thumb.

"Why would the great Apollo care about a mere mortal?" Grantaire asked in a flat voice. He wanted nothing more than to be at home, in the comfort of his own apartment with a bottle of whiskey and a cigarette, but the feeling of Enjolras' hand against his glued him in place as if it was his only reason for being.

Enjolras looked at the man sadly and ran a hand through his blond hair out of frustration. "I just want to help, R, I want to help you through this, keep you safe." He told the man, showing him emotions that he usually stored deep down in the hope he could get the broken man to confess to him. "I know I'm an ass, and I know you hate me. I understand why, i hate myself too." He confessed, "Just let me help you." He asked.

Grantaire looked up from the bit of floor he had been staring at, and turned to look at the God infront of him. As their eyes met, both men felt a rush of desire run through their bodies. "You, Apollo, are perfect." Grantaire told the blond beauty that stood before him, "I forbid you to think Amy different.".

Enjolras smiled at the man, and in a moment of courage lent forward to press a kiss to Grantaire's forehead. "As are you." He informed him, lifting up R's arm, and gently rolling up the sleeve. 

Enjolras stifled a gasp at the sight before him, and gazed upon Grantaire's mutilated arm. He tried his best to push the sight out of his mind, but taking notes of the few verticle cuts, and pressed small kisses along the length of the man's arm.

Enjolras looked up at a shocked Grantaire and smiled gently. "I don't know why you did this to yourself, nor am I going to continue to push you for answers." He told Grantaire softly, "but I need you to promise that you will stop... For me." He asked, looking at the curly haired man with pleading eyes.

Grantaire lowered his gaze for a moment as the thoughts feelings inside him battled amongst each other, before looking up and giving Enjolras a tight smile. "Okay." He said softly, his throat sore and voice rough.

Enjolras smiled at him and pulled him in for a hug. "You are a strong brave man." Enjolras told him, pulling away to look Grantaire in the eyes. 

"I love you, R." Enjolras whispered, bairly audibly. He began to blush as Grantaire broke out in a huge smile.

"I love you too, Apollo." Grantaire told him, before pulling him in to a passionate kiss.

Enjolras gasped in shock as he felt Grantaire's lips on his. How often he had dreamt about this moment... He could hardly believe his luck as he placed his hands on Grantaire's hips.

Grantaire's fingers wound in Enjolras' curly locks. This was how it felt to kiss a god, Grantaire thought, his mind racing.

As Grantaire pulled back, he realized Enjolras' light was shining out, brighter than ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Requests are open, so feel free to send in any request you'd like written!
> 
> Looking for RP buddies on kik: sophyyyxcx
> 
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> 
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